We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
