Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
