did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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