Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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