I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
