There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is wine microwaveable?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
