wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
