I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
