Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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