He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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