never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
