So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
