And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
