she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
