I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
