Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
