Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
