dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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