Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
