You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
