what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
