New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
