I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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