Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
