I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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