): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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