haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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