Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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