She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
