I think my vagina is haunted
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
