Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
