i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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