I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
