I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
