2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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