Just fell off a train. Bad.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
