Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
