Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
