you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
