is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
