We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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