just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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