im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
