Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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