i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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