Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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