Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
