You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
