Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
