I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
